The Power of Transition

About a year ago our counseling practice moved offices. Nothing major, just a few doors down from where our office used to be. I got to decorate my new office; paint the walls white, fill the room with plants, and pick out trendy new furniture. It was an upgrade for sure. I should have felt right at home in my new office but I didn’t. Not at first. I felt off. One day in the newly carpeted hallway I was talking to a colleague and tried to verbalize what was happening in me. She listened intently, the way counselors do, and had a fairly simple response. “It’s so easy to underestimate the power of transition, isn’t it?” She asked. 

That was it. Transition! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? I mean heck, I’ve led therapy groups entitled “Transitions” so you think i’d be able to spot one when I see it, right? It may have been a small transition to move a couple doors down from where we used to be but it was transition nonetheless. My body was finding a new rhythm and my brain was playing catch-up. Those words were an invitation to me. An invitation to be exactly where i was and nowhere else. Permission to stop asking myself “what is going ON with me?” and instead asking myself “what do I need to be ok right now?” 

It’s so easy to underestimate the power of transition, isn’t it? 

I’m currently right in the thick of my first year of motherhood. This was a transition I knew was coming; a transition I had anticipated for months. I planned so darn well for this transition! I had the nursery decorated, crib sheets washed, an abundance of diapers, going home from the hospital outfits (yes, plural), and the coolest diaper bag I could find. I had this. I wasn’t going to let this transition get the better of me. 

And yet, it’s easy to underestimate the power of transition, isn’t it? 

Just like the office move, the process of becoming a mother has taken me by surprise and, at times, left me flat on my face. Just like the office move, my family got an upgrade when we added our baby girl to it. Life is far richer than I have ever known.  I am experiencing moments with my husband and daughter so sweet I hardly know what to do.  And yet it is still transition and no amount of preparation could have readied me. 

I forget things a lot right now and usually remember them at 2am. I have dark circles under my eyes that didn’t used to be there. Subsequently, I have spent a lot of time googling how to get rid of dark eye circles (hint: the answer is sleep). Life is good right now AND I am exhausted. Sure, lack of sleep has left me tired. Spending hours a day hunched over as the baby hobbles around using my hands to steady herself leaves my back aching, definitely. My body is literally building my daughter’s body day by day. 

Yet it is the transition that has wearied me. I’m learning a new way of life. My heart has been cracked wide open in the best kind of way. But it is still cracked wide open and needs to be put back together again. 

Talking with other new moms, wise women who have been through this season, or therapists have been a balm my heart has needed in this  season. As my old way of life got thwarted and a new one is being built up around me I have to talk out what is being stirred up inside. Processing all of my varying emotions with someone has kept me (mostly) sane in this wild transitional year. If anything I’ve seen in this past few months how desperate my soul is to connect with someone else who can say, “I get it” or “I’ve been there.” 

It’s so easy to underestimate the power of transition, isn’t it? 

I’m so thankful I don’t have to go at this transition alone. You may not be in your first year of motherhood but if you find yourself in any kind of transition big or small, you don’t have to go at it alone either.

Lindsay Buono